Hot Damn I Got It

www.matthewpizana.net is now here so all the fun in one place without me working the room with two.  I'm quite lazy.

Courtroom Drama

Normal day in the court room.  Man named Eric Crenshaw sits accused of battery in a drunken alleyway brawl.  A violent man certainly but no more surprisingly different than most of the people coming in and out of the swinging doors at the back of the room every day.  Always someone ready to go to court.  File a complaint or motion.   Needs a reason that in turn initiates the need for me tapping it all down. 

                I’m pretty sure the DA was the first to notice the man gearing up.  His distraction while directing a writ request to the judge was enough to distract me.  A glance at DA lead my glance over to the defendant.  His leg was jittering under the desk overtime.  His anger unrelenting.  I missed typing the last line the judge right before the man charged her desk.  The bailiff, even standing right beside the man, whiffed on Eric as he dashed by.  I was to the backdoor almost as quickly as anyone but not fast enough to disappear before the judge, Judge LouAnn Clarence, pulled a snub nosed .38 from underneath robe and stuck in directly in line with the defendants face.

                “I can see that nothing leading up to this moment has made an impact,” the judge stands up from her chair, cocked her neck to the right, and pulled the trigger.

                Eric, a hardened man that has four previous accountants of some type of violent act, let out a squeal like a female pig as he fell backwards onto the floor.  The courtroom feel dead silent.  The attention first aimed at the perp, startled but uninjured.  A moment later, to the judge, Judge Clarence, water still dripping out her water gun.  A smile worn from ear to ear. 

                “Let’s go with maximum, twenty years, and mister Crenshaw,” the defendant slowly picked himself off the ground, ego still left on the floor, “this moment will be played every Friday night after chow time.”  The judge glanced over to her cameraman who responded with a thumbs up to confirm that the incident was documented for posterity.  Or lack thereof. 

                The room kept their attention on mister Crenshaw as the bailiff locked up him up and hauled him out the back door, past me as I held open the door.

                “Reporter, what was the last statement?”

                Shit, I missed the last thing she said.  Afraid I’m going to get the gun next.  

China to Overtake America in Science Soon

China is on course to overtake the US in scientific output possibly as soon as 2013 - far earlier than expected.

That is the conclusion of a major new study by the Royal Society, the UK's national science academy.
The country that invented the compass, gunpowder, paper and printing is set for a globally important comeback.

Of course Britain is going to say that.  They just love to rub things in (Touch Me).

Yellow Rain in Japan

TOKYO —The ‘‘yellow rain’’ seen Wednesday in the Kanto region surrounding Tokyo was caused by pollen, not radioactive materials as many residents had worried, the Japan Meteorological Agency said Thursday.
The agency received more than 200 inquiries Thursday morning about yellowish residue left on roofs and elsewhere by the rain, stirring concerns that radioactive substances had fallen after accidents caused by the March 11 quake and tsunami at a nuclear power plant around 220 kilometers northeast of Tokyo.

Not tossing accusations, but this is the same reason given for the yellow rain at Chernobyl (Touch Me) 

1919

                It will get easier than this.  It will get easier than this.  Just been a while since I have gone on a little jog.  Laps around the block or three.  Needed to get out.  Smell the fresh air.  Just don’t get out like I should.  Most of don’t.  Part of where we are at.  This time.  This place.

                “Sir, stop police!” The officer named Jim screams at me as he rounds the corner.  “Please, stop.”  Jim seems to be unprepared for this foot chase just as much as I am but only one of us has a good reason for doing this.  Jogging.  That’s where I have seen mistakes made.  No need to start out in a full sprint.  Just jog.  I mean, jog fast but don’t blow it all out at once.  At least starting off.  Shit, with one fat guy behind me sucking air, I know I’ve got a good few seconds lead, holding steady, but still able to breathe. 

                The mangled wood fence that protected the little Irish families rose garden is my first obstacle.  I hit the fence in stride and am over it in one movement.  Jim crashes into the fence as he makes a half-hearted effort to grab me to end the chase.  This injection causes Jim to lose his momentum.  Doubling the difficulty trying to pry his weight over the top.  Meantime, I am at the back entrance to my complex.  4-2-1 on the key box and inside.  One last stretch before home sweet home.  Home is not an invitation for a raid.  The officer never got my real name or even a good look at me so the best he could do was start banging on doors.  Trying to find the man that just ran through.  He’s not going to get any answers at 3 o’clock in the morning.  Maybe a riot.  Safety in a community of suspects. 

Russian Jailed for Electronic Billboard Prank

MOSCOW (AFP) – A Moscow court jailed a Russian hacker for 18 months after he altered an electronic advertising billboard so that it screened a pornographic video, the RIA Novosti news agency reported Thursday.

Even Free On Billboards

Ah, the Fun of the Chat Help Desk

I am going to fix the background image to the blog soon it has just been ruling me at the moment.  Also, this will soon be the official home for matthewpizana.net as soon as I get the background pic set up the way I like.  In the meantime, Chat Help Desk theater.

User matthew_ has entered room

Analyst  has entered room

Analyst Jennifer Williams has entered room

Analyst  has left room

Jennifer Williams(Mon Mar 28 2011 13:51:53 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

Thank you for contacting Time Warner Cable. At the end of our chat you will be given the option of taking a brief survey. My name is Jennifer. Please give me a moment while I access your account.

matthew_(Mon Mar 28 2011 12:52:02 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

k

Jennifer Williams(Mon Mar 28 2011 13:52:12 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

Thank you for your patience.

Jennifer Williams(Mon Mar 28 2011 13:52:46 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

You are unable to access ESPN3.com, am I correct?

matthew_(Mon Mar 28 2011 12:52:52 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

yep

Jennifer Williams(Mon Mar 28 2011 13:53:23 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

I will be glad to assist you with the information.

Jennifer Williams(Mon Mar 28 2011 13:54:34 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

What is the error message you get while you try to access it?

matthew_(Mon Mar 28 2011 12:54:49 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

says that I am not authorized

matthew_(Mon Mar 28 2011 12:55:52 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

At the moment, it is letting me watch a replay event but last week when I tried to watch a live event, it says not authorized. I thought maybe since I only have internet that might be a problem or have you guys just updated recently and I am working now.

Jennifer Williams(Mon Mar 28 2011 13:56:03 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

I would like to inform you that you will need to get cable and internet service with in order to access ESPN3.com.

matthew_(Mon Mar 28 2011 12:56:04 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

Like I said, at the moment, the replay for an event is playing.

matthew_(Mon Mar 28 2011 12:56:14 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

I gotcha.  Cable and internet

matthew_(Mon Mar 28 2011 12:56:21 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

Why is it like that?

Jennifer Williams(Mon Mar 28 2011 13:56:56 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

You do not have able service with us.

matthew_(Mon Mar 28 2011 12:57:19 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

Right, I understand the cable but is there is a reason that I need both to actually access it?

Jennifer Williams(Mon Mar 28 2011 13:58:32 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

You need to be subscribed to ESPN with our cable service in order to access ESPN3.com.

matthew_(Mon Mar 28 2011 12:59:02 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

Right, I get that.  What I am asking is what is it about the cable that allows my internet to get espn3.com?

Jennifer Williams(Mon Mar 28 2011 13:59:31 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

You will need Standard cable service.

Jennifer Williams(Mon Mar 28 2011 13:59:55 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

I will transfer the chat to our sales team and they will assist you with cable package information.

Jennifer Williams(Mon Mar 28 2011 14:00:02 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

Shall I transfer the chat?

matthew_(Mon Mar 28 2011 13:00:03 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

Thats not what I want at all

matthew_(Mon Mar 28 2011 13:00:09 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

I am just asking you a question

matthew_(Mon Mar 28 2011 13:00:29 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

Are you able to answer that question or not able to and avoiding it?  Either way is fine but I am asking a question that does have an answer

Jennifer Williams(Mon Mar 28 2011 14:02:32 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

I do understand why you might feel that way. However, as per Time Warner Cable policy, you need to at least have the Standard Cable service and Internet service to access ESPN3.com.

matthew_(Mon Mar 28 2011 13:03:53 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

I don't feel anyway.  I haven't said anything about how I feel.  I didn't say I was angry or frustrated or anything other than with your inability to answer a question.  I am asking, what is it about the internet site that makes it impossible to get without cable tv as well?

Jennifer Williams(Mon Mar 28 2011 14:06:08 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

I am sorry.

Jennifer Williams(Mon Mar 28 2011 14:07:27 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

You will need to register into MyServices in order to access ESPN3.com and for that you will need Standard cable package with us.

matthew_(Mon Mar 28 2011 13:07:52 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

ah, perfect.  That's what I needed.  Thank you.

Jennifer Williams(Mon Mar 28 2011 14:08:00 GMT-0600 (Central Standard Time))>

You will not be able to access that site directly, you will need to access MyServices with the cable TV tab in it.

Scientists to Track Yetti

Officials in coal-mining region of Kemerovo Oblast announced plans today to open a Yeti Institute at the Kemerovo State University, a 38-year-old higher education entity in western Siberia. KSU boasts 31,000 students and is best known for reviving regional languages, like Shor. Yeti researcher Igor Burtsev reportedly claimed that 30 Russian scientists are currently studying yetis, or Abominable Snowmen, and the Institute could allow them to better collaborate.

Tracking Yetti (Touch Me) 

I'm Glad This Dude Hasn't seen Gas Prices

Man Upset by price at Taco Bell gets into shootout with cops (Touch Me)

The price of the Beefy Crunch Burrito had gone up from 99 cents to $1.49 and the man at the Rigsby Road Taco Bell drive-thru had just ordered seven.
The fast food customer was so disgruntled by the price hike he shot an air gun at the manager, displayed an assault rifle and pistol while in the restaurant's parking lot, fled as police were called, and pointed one of his weapons at three officers who pulled him over...

If you panic easily, hit and runs shouldn't be your thing

Love is Wonderful

Man Defriends Wife, Hopefully They Try Him in Utah (Touch Me)

Police in Grand Rapids, Mich., say they were able to bust a man on polygamy charges after his first wife noticed he had "defriended" her on Facebook and posted photos of his second marriage.

Richard Leon Barton Jr., 34, reportedly met his first wife, Adina Quarto, online and married the Rhode Island woman in 2004. But the couple quickly became estranged after Barton was hauled back to Michigan and imprisoned for violating his parole, The Grand Rapids Press reports...

High School Kids Build a satellite while I struggle to spell it

High School Class Builds a satellite (Touch Me)

Later this year, NASA will launch satellites designed and built by high school students into orbit for the first time—and Jefferson's satellite is near the front of the line to blast into space. The satellite, called TJ3Sat, is in its final stages of testing, and its launch—scheduled for sometime this fall—will be the culmination of nearly five years of effort involving close to 50 students...

Something Something Something

You just want to say all the forbidden words.  Do all the terrible things people perceive as unforgettable and get them out of the way up front.  Let everyone know that you are someone who is not be revered.  Never be held up as a shining example of anything.  Two fingers over your top lip gets vile and hatred tossed at you by such high minded individuals that only get their assistant pregnant while their wife is at home.  Loafing around dealing with something as petty as cancer.  By a picture.  Not by a hundred page opus that explains the answers to the world as seen through the eyes of a person that thought so full of themselves to a hundred page suicide letter before you kill yourself.  Leave it to the pros like Koresh.  Korseh in Front of the Camera.  He seemed to be living to die.  It is still a wonder to think what was going through his mind when it really became go time.  The first night after the ATF came to reign down Armageddon on him and his people.  Sitting there bleeding, staring into a camera talking to the mystery that was going on outside.  Was he completely gun ho or was there a piece of him that thought, should I have eaten Dairy Queen last week because I’ll never have that again.  No more Belt Busters.

Mice Can Swing Both Ways Too

Sexual Preference Chemical Found In Mice (Touch Me)

RED LIGHT MOUSE DISTRICT- Male mice bred without serotonin lose their preference for females, a report in Nature says.  The researchers say it is the first time that a neurotransmitter has been shown to play a role in sexual preference in mammals...

Don't say "protest" in China

China Tightens Censorship of Electronic Communications (Touch Me)

BEIJING — If anyone wonders whether the Chinese government has tightened its grip on electronic communications since protests began engulfing the Arab world, Shakespeare may prove instructive.
A Beijing entrepreneur, discussing restaurant choices with his fiancée over their cellphones last week, quoted Queen Gertrude’s response to Hamlet: “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” The second time he said the word “protest,” her phone cut off...

America Halting Import of Japense Food

America halting import of Japense food (Touch Me) 

FOOD POISON ALLEY- Tokyo residents were warned not to give babies tap water because of radiation leaking from a nuclear plant crippled in the earthquake and tsunami that devastated northeast Japan in the world's costliest natural disaster.

Hide me Hide me

"Anonymity is authenticity," said Poole, the creator of 4chian says. "It allows you to share in an unvarnished, unfiltered, raw and real way. We believe in content over creator."
And with anonymity, users feel free to experiment without fearing reprisal, he noted. "The cost of failure is really high when you're contributing as yourself," he said. "To fail in an environment where you're contributing with your real name is costly."

No, that is called been chicken shit.  Own up to the things that you are doing and saying.  Be a man.  If you believe that balls being chopped off should be mandatory for all half Canadian non Hispanic foreign born males then say it.  Or, if you Asians drive you bananas in the library while you are trying to study, say that too.

Poor Girl Makes a Bad Video Confessional Decision (Touch Me)

So what if you have loons talking about you on the news for a day or two.  Big deal.  Use the notoriety to hock your new line of cat mittens and watch the sales soar.  I'm not against anonymity in a general sense.  I don't like to be tracked, traced, or be known enough to have the first season of the Gilmore Girls sold to me one out of every three pop ups but to say that the only way a person can say something in "an unvarnished, unfiltered, raw and real way" so that content is king over the creator well, that just seems like a cop out by a scared little soul sitting in their room avoiding human contact at all cost.  Face someone.  It's not that bad.  Just bring some gum in case.

30 for 30 (ha I did it too)

Pure laziness.  30 for 30 is the headline this morning from ESPN about the Miami San Antonio game last night.  Yes, San Antonio beat the Heat by thirty points a few weeks back which, last night, the Heat in turn beat them by thirty. Tit for Tat maybe or Of Equal Measure.  Eye for an Eye.  Got You Back.  Please just not the title of your latest hit documentary series.  Synergy is fine but just to lazy out the title in the latest Miami saga is a mark against you ESPN.  Creativity.  Ask one of those intern's (slaves just to be clear) an idea.  I've bet they've got one.  Have some pride in the written word even if it isn't printed on paper anymore.  Follow Sports Illustrated lead over at cnn.com.  They have a history of over fifty years of sports coverage.  In print.  Shiny pictures and long ramblings by Rick Reilly.  Their title for the thirty point beating Miami lay down on the Spurs last: 30 for 30.

Thanks to Greg and the internet for this wonderfulness

S.45 at 2011-03-12 06:20 CET:

When is the R5 coming out?

dirty_nigger at 2011-03-12 07:34 CET:

@S.45

Next friday at 8pm

S.45 at 2011-03-12 09:49 CET:

@dirty_nigger

You're a dirty nigger.

kmc1979 at 2011-03-12 13:44 CET:

@S.45

think what dirty_nigger is trying to say is don't be such a dumb fuck... do ya think bone is psychic... these things don't exactly have release dates... now go back to fucking your sister ya redneck klan loving ballbag...

Rob93 at 2011-03-12 16:32 CET:

Plus, (and this is by no means intended to be a blanket, "always the case," rule) I would be far more likely to become immersed in, or feel a strong sense of empathy for someone who looks quite different from myself and my community. And even MORE SO w/people who SPEAK differently than I, & my peers, speak.
I understand how crude that may sound but it's the truth. Xenophobia has been around for a LONG, LONG TIME! Sometimes positive results come from it(like when confronted with a horde of hostile aliens bent on destroying all humans and stealing their world), but more often, people become victims of it. It has a tendency to snow ball into something FAR REACHING and CRUEL, e.g. eugenics, Nazism, etc.
I WOULD like to point out that, though I am admittedly ignorant of the background, "Dirty_Nigger" is probably NOT a good way of promoting community and liberty. But HEY, who the f*#K am I, SI?

S.45 at 2011-03-12 16:47 CET:

@kmc1979
How hard is it to guess a date? maybe it's pretty hard for retards like you. But for real people it's pretty easy. If anybody knows the release date of the R5's it should be the people ripping them dipshit. now please try again on insulting me because that redneck shit doesn't work. This isn't 2007 buddy.

S.45 at 2011-03-12 16:50 CET:

The R5 rip should be out around 7th April 2011. See how hard that was! Fucking morons!!!

lievenazerty at 2011-03-12 22:02 CET:

@ s.45
7th april, google r5 releases the first link (samsblog).

dirty_nigger at 2011-03-12 23:06 CET:

@lievenazerty

That site is full of shit, theres so many different groups and people that steal R5's and release them no one can tell when one is going to be uploaded other than the group or person themselves uploading it that day.

@S.45

You really are a dumb fuck

S.45 at 2011-03-13 01:09 CET:

@dirty_nigger

You really are the reason why humans hate niggers.

dirty_nigger at 2011-03-13 01:19 CET:

@S.45

niggers are humans you stupid dumb dumb fuck